The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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