I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
