Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
