whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
