Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
