I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
