Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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