she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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