I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
