just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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