Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
