we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize