Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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