All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
