he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
