god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
