This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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