i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
