3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
