I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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