The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
