White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
