he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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