I saw his package. It spoke to me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
