I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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