you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
