He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
