Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
