there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
