Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
