Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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