Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
