can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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