I hope mine doesn't look like that
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize