She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just found puke in my bra..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
