my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize