hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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