The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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