just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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