i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
