so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
