$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Drake has all the answers
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Will exercising make me less horny?
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