I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
