You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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