I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
