I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
