Kiss
Puke
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
