matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
