Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize