I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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