its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
