i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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