i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
