u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
farters have to be the big spoon...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize