Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
