My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize