he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
