dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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