it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
