a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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