Im at strip club and am horny
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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