I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
