At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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