I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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