I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he shaved USA in his pubs
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
