You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How's work?
Spinning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
