I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I yelled at your uterus for you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
