My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
