did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
